The holiday season is jolly for some, but challenging for others - and it can be especially painful for those who have lost close loved ones.
The holiday season is jolly for some but challenging for
others—and it can be especially painful for those who have lost close loved
ones. Memories of past holidays spent together can trigger feelings of sorrow
and loneliness. For those who have recently become widows or widowers,
navigating the holidays presents some emotional hurdles.
How can you help support the widows and widowers you know?
In short, simply reach out to them and let them know you are thinking about
them. Make a special effort to get gifts for those who are going through a
season of loss and know that your friendship may be the most significant gift
of all.
This year will likely be especially difficult as many events
and gatherings are canceled. It will be difficult for widows and widowers to
spend time with extended family or friends, which can make them feel more
isolated.
But even though things are different this year, that doesn’t
mean you can’t still include your widow and widower friends in your plans. If
you host a group video chat, invite them to join in. Or get creative and choose
a recipe to make together. Then video chat while you are preparing and eating
the food. Do you plan to attend a virtual Christmas Eve service? Send them the
link to join as well. You may also be able to do other activities together as
local restrictions and social distancing allow, such as going on a walk, hike
or bike ride together.
You can also give physical gifts or gifts of service that
let the widow or widower know you are thinking about them, even if you are
social distancing. Have a care package delivered to their home and include
favorite items. Drop off cookies or treats. Give them a gift card to a local
restaurant so they can order takeout instead of having to cook. If they have
children, drop off some kid-friendly board games or puzzles they can do
together as a family. Or even offer to complete some chores for them such as
grocery shopping, cooking or yard work.
If nothing else, make sure to reach out with calls, text
messages, video chats or a hand-written card.
Widows and widowers may feel acute grief, but they are not
as fragile as we think they are—certainly not too fragile to withstand the
embrace of friendship.
