Mother’s Day is often a difficult day for those who have lost a mother. While it can bring back joyful memories of your mother, it can also be a day of grief and longing. Below are some tips to help you cope today.
Know that grief is natural and unpredictable. Even if your mother has been gone for some time, that doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t still feel grief, especially on a day dedicated to her memory. You may feel anger, sadness, longing, guilt, or something totally different. Know that any of these emotions are normal and take some time to process them.
Talk to family members and friends. Let them know how you are feeling. Share memories of your mother if you wish. Just let them know that you need to talk. If you have other friends who have lost a mother, it can be good to talk to them as they are more likely to understand how you feel.
Make a plan. You may want to try to do something to avoid other Mother’s Day celebrations today actively. Take a hike, read a book, or even do nothing at all. It’s up to you, and there is no right or wrong answer here.
Make time for memories. For some people, it can be helpful to reflect on the times you shared with your mother. Pull out old pictures and mementos. Eat one of her favorite dishes. Write letters or create artwork in her memory.
It’s ok to change your mind. You may think you will feel a certain way, and then you wake up and feel totally differently about the day. That’s fine. You may have planned to visit your mother’s gravesite today and then decide that you aren’t up for it. Or you may plan to be alone and then realize you wish for the company of others. It’s ok to make last-minute plans; make sure you are taking time for yourself and doing what is best for you.
Know that while today may be a difficult day for you, you are not alone in your grief. Give yourself some time to miss and honor your mother today if that is what you choose.