"Dougster" was a common addition to Grandpa's group of friends, but his colorful languange (and the way he loudy used it despite the circumstance) always embarrassed Grandma. She just was not comfortable with his attendance at Grandpa's funeral.
Although funeral services provide a time and place for individuals to show respect for lost loved ones, some guests may not be welcome. Whether the deceased or the family wants to keep an individual from attending a service, it is important to express these desires in a clear, yet polite manner.
Consider a Private Service
Private services are common for families who want to remember the deceased in a comfortable space. When services are limited those who are not invited may feel hurt; however, it is important to consider whether certain guests will detract from the respectful intent of a service.
Those who are afraid outside guests will get in the way of proper grieving should consider having a private service. Private services are designed only for requested individuals and should not be considered as an attempt to bar someone from the event, but to simply maintain respect.
Announcing the Death
Typically, obituaries for individuals with private funeral services can list the events as such. Those who read of the death should take care to respect the wishes of the family to keep the event private.
Others may find that announcing the loss of a loved one is easier after the services are complete. By publishing an obituary after the funeral, individuals will still be made aware of the death. This option allows family members the proper time to grieve in private without interference from outside parties.
Hosting a Memorial Service
While funerals may be limited to a restricted attendance list, memorial services are an exceptional way to invite others to grieve the loss of a loved one. Memorial services can happen days or weeks after the funeral, which allows families flexibility when sharing this experience with others. If a memorial service is planned, it is appropriate to include this information in an obituary.