The first time the holiday season comes around after a loved one dies can be the hardest. Here are some ways to help you cope.
Grief counselors and therapists agree that there isn't a right or wrong way to celebrate the holiday season after the loss of a loved one.
Since most holiday traditions center around time spent with friends and family, it can make the loss of a loved one feel even more magnified. The first time the holiday season comes around after a loved one passes it is likely you will have many unexpected feelings and emotions.
The first thing to do is to simply acknowledge that the holidays are going to be tough.
There is no way to get around it. If you try to hide your feelings or bury them you will only make yourself feel worse.
However, there are coping strategies that can help ease the pain. And friends and family members can take steps to support those in mourning.
1) Share memories with loved ones. While it can be difficult to bring up your loved one who has passed, not doing so can make things even worse. Take some time with friends and family to share memories of your loved one. Share funny or happy stories about the person. Remember that is OK to laugh, even though you are grieving.
2) Blend old traditions with new ones. Whatever the holiday is, the first time it comes around after losing a loved one will definitely be different. With your loved one gone, the traditions just won’t feel the same. If you do feel like you want to continue to celebrate it can be helpful to start blending old and new traditions together.
3) Cut back on holiday stressors. The holidays are typically a busy time. While many of the activities are fun, some may cause a lot of stress. Keep in mind that it is ok to find ways to cut back on these seasonal stressors. If cooking feels like too much work this year, order food or ask other family members to help you cook. It's also ok to skip events and gatherings if you choose.
4) Give mental health support a try. With all the things coming up, now is a great time to get some support. Things that were difficult to handle before may be even more difficult now. And often you don’t know how you are going to feel or react, so having someone who can provide you with added support can be very helpful. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can help you feel less isolated.
5) Pay attention to possible unhealthy coping techniques. A holiday season following the loss of a loved one can trigger many challenging thoughts and feelings. While this is totally normal, it is important to take care of yourself and pay close attention to your emotions. Feelings of apathy and hopelessness can be warning signs that your grief might be putting you at risk for depression. While there are many healthy ways to cope with your grief, it can be easy to turn to unhealthy means of coping such as withdrawing socially or turning to alcohol or food. If you notice any of these things happening, don't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a professional.
