Social media helps us feel more connected these days. But what happens, when you are scrolling through your news feed and discover that one of your friends has suffered the loss of a loved one?
Social media helps us feel more connected these days. But what happens, when you are scrolling through your news feed and discover that one of your friends has suffered the loss of a loved one?
One of the easiest things you can do is like their post. Now you often have options and can leave a "hug” or "sad face.” This can let your friend know that you are thinking about them.
If you do want to comment on their post, there are some proper etiquette rules you should follow.
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Keep it short and sweet. Something simple like, "thinking of you and your family” or "sending love and hugs” will do.
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Follow the family’s lead. Wait until someone from the immediate family posts something before commenting or posting on your own.
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Focus on your friend. Don’t talk about your own loss or try to compare what they are going through to something you have been through.
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If you knew the person who died, share a short memory or something you admired about the person. Something like, "I’ll miss her jokes and stories.” or "It will be hard not seeing his smiling face at the office anymore” is good. Don’t go overboard and leave a long, detailed message.
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Send a private message. If you want to say more, you can always send a private message.
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Don’t say things like "he’s in a better place.” Even if you know the beliefs of your friends (and you know this is something they believe as well), in times of grief and loss statements like this may invalidate your friend’s feelings. Give your friend room to grieve however that happens for them.
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Don’t ask questions. This isn’t the time or place to ask what happened. Stick to words that will comfort your friend.
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Don’t tag the deceased. While it might feel like you are honoring the deceased, it may be an unwelcome reminder for others. And keep in mind that whatever you post on the deceased’s wall will be viewable to all their friends and family members.
Most importantly, remember to keep checking in on your friend. The impact of the loss of a loved one is felt forever. Make sure to check in on your friend in the weeks and months after the loss and offer support, even if it’s through a Facebook message.
