Even though we go through life expecting our parents to die someday, we're usually never really ready to say goodbye to people who play such an important role in our lives.

Here are some of the reactions you may feel to a parent’s death.

Grief

Grief is how we say goodbye to someone. It is as individual as it is natural. How you grieve depends on a number of factors such as your relationship with your parent, previous experience with death, and religious beliefs. However, no one can tell you how you will or should experience grief.

Shock and Denial

You may also feel shock. If your parent falls victim to a sudden illness or accident, you may even deny at first that he or she has died.

Later, the initial shock may dissolve into numbness. You may feel that none of what is happening is real - as if you are just watching a movie. Shock is nature's way of insulating you, of giving you time to slowly accept what has happened.

Guilt and Anger

As the reality of death sinks in, you may become filled with anger. You may feel angry at the doctors or nurses, the funeral director, or God. If you believe your parent's death was caused by poor health habits or carelessness, you may even feel angry at him or her for dying and leaving you - and then feel guilty for this anger.

You may also feel guilty for things like arguments you had before or regrets over things unsaid. 

Preoccupation

It's common to become preoccupied with the parent who died. You may think about them constantly or have dreams or nightmares about them. You may even think you see or hear them. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions. It's important to realize that, as bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

Know that all these feelings are normal and allow yourself to move through them. However, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you ever feel that they are too much to deal with on your own. 

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