When a friend or family member is battling cancer, we want to help. Sometimes it can be difficult to know the best way to help them. Here are some tips to get started.
When a friend or family member is battling cancer, we want to help. Sometimes it can be difficult to know the best way to help them. We may feel uncomfortable talking about the issue or worried that we will make them feel worse. We may be unsure of how to address their feelings and fears. The good news is, there are plenty of resources on ways to support friends and family members. Here are some tips to get started.
- Prepare yourself. Process your own feelings before you talk to your friend/family member so you can focus on them. You may also want to ask another friend or family member for details of the illness (if they are comfortable sharing with you). This way your friend/family member doesn’t feel like they have to keep repeating them to everyone. They may also be going through some physical changes, so you can try to prepare yourself for those as well.
- Offer practical help. Asking "how can I help?” can be overwhelming. Instead, offer specific suggestions for ways you can help. You can do things like pick up groceries, cook meals and drop them off, babysit their children, or clean their house.
- Help form a support team. Organize friends and family to help support your friend/family member. This way you can coordinate your efforts to make sure more of their needs are being met. You can make a calendar and share it with your friend/family member so they know what to expect.
- Be there to listen and continue to check in. Make time for in-person visits (if possible), phone calls, and texts to check on your friend/family member. But be flexible if they don’t feel like talking. Talk about things other than cancer to give them space to focus on other topics they enjoy. Make time to laugh but allow for sadness during these times as well.
- Send care packages or small gifts. While this isn’t necessary, small gifts or care packages can help cheer your friend/family member up. Things to include might be magazines or books, CDs or gift cards to download music, movies, jewelry, puzzle books or games, gift cards to favorite restaurants or grocery stores, portable hobby kits, comfy pajamas, or flowers.
Know that your friendship makes a difference during this difficult time. Continue to support your friend or family member during their cancer journey and after as well as they adjust to their next phase of life.
