When someone experiences the loss of a spouse, they will feel initial grief at the loss of the person themselves. However, they will likely also find that they feel grief and confusion due to the many changes that occur in their lives.

Psychologist Dr. Therese Rando explains that when you lose a spouse, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death.

You may have depended on your spouse to make financial decisions, get the car fixed, keep the house in good repair, cook, clean, or manage the household. Now you find you are responsible for those tasks and find them difficult to complete. As the reality of death sinks in, it is common for a bereaved spouse to slip into depression and to feel helpless.

The extent of those secondary losses depends partly on your age. Younger couples increasingly depend on two paychecks to maintain the household. The death of one spouse can leave the other in a tight financial situation. Younger couples are also likely to have children at home and depend on each other to share the child-rearing duties.

Perhaps the most difficult secondary loss to accept is suddenly being without your primary companion. You have grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and engaging in favorite activities with your spouse. You have grown used to being the object of your spouse's love. As Dr. Rando says, a woman who is widowed, for example, "didn't just lose her husband, she lost a friend, a confidant, someone with whom to take vacations." The same goes for a husband that has lost his wife.

The death of your spouse can also change the relationship you had with mutual friends. If you were used to socializing with friends as a couple, those same friends may have a difficult time interacting with you as an individual. You may begin to feel like the "fifth wheel."

Losing such an important companion can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should delay, if possible, making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Always remember that grief is normal. But if you find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed and feel that you are not coping well, you may consider talking to a counselor.