How can you overcome the problems you face after your spouse has died? First, you must recognize that grief is necessary, and that it is something you must work through. There is no shortcut.
Vent Your Feelings
It is important that you allow yourself to vent your feelings. Take time to cry. Don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" your children or other family members by hiding your sadness. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on your friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. You can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.
Lighten Your Schedule
If you normally have a pressing schedule, try to lighten it. Remember, grief is mentally taxing. You don't need the added strain of too much to do. Set aside some quiet times just for yourself, so you can think about your spouse's death and put things in perspective.
Remember that There is No Timetable
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It happens gradually, and there is not a normal timetable for grieving. For some people it may take weeks or months to start to feel better. For others, it may take years. It’s also important to remember that even if you have accepted your loss, that doesn’t mean that you have forgotten the person.
What if you can't seem to handle your grief? It’s important to understand that there is no timetable for grief, so it is difficult to say when a person needs professional help.
If you are worried that you are not coping well with your grief, you might consider talking to a counselor.